Having Good Conversation

I find that in our fast-paced world, people have forgotten how to slow down and engage in meaningful conversations with each other.  They have started turning to books or podcasts for a less satisfying form of insight. While the few conversations they do have, have been regulated to short chats, chitchat, small talk, or swapping gossip.  

What is rare is to have important conversations. These are conversations that in some way has the ability to make a change within your paradigm or somatic expression (no matter how small) a change that represents a shift.  

Having conversations that are transformational is one of the things that I experience in my lay-counseling and life-coaching sessions, occurring within myself, while simultaneously being experienced by my clients.  

Agnes Callard, an Associate Professor of Philosophy at the University of Chicago, rallies for these types of conversations. Her approach to these conversations is Stoic in form, a type of Socratic method or dialogue that you would interject into your conversation.   

People at a conference sitting at tables

Image Credit: Calvin Harris, H.W., M.

I like saying that you want to bring curiosity to the conversation, which creates a form of cooperative interplay between people’s, where two or more people would use a series of probing questions to find an answer, and then in addition, finding that they themselves have been lead to a critically examination of their own beliefs and assumptions, leading to deeper understanding. I like to use some combination of questions, such as who, when, where, how, and why, when engaged in an important conversation. Of course, there are many ways to go about the Socratic method.

I like to think of it as creating an opening in one's thinking to allow curiosity to move you to a new conclusion. Which entails the pursuit of an issue, statement, or point, to be taken to its fullest conclusion or end. We want to follow through, rather than dismissing or ignoring the issue. 

Case in point, if someone said they think “war is good.” Then with curiosity, we would want to probe, to ask questions, and to examine that statement to its fullest outcome.  Another thing we want to be cognizant of is that our conversation is itself a form of thinking. A form of Consciousness, conscious of consciousness, as thoughts are being processed as conversation.  Especially when people sit down to dissect or consider the implications of those thoughts.  When this occurs, with openness and curiosity, then something magical happens.  The outcome of a collaborative effect of individual minds coming together to look at a query, a question, or a request for information, then seeking clarification.   

Occurring at the same time, we as individuals have an opportunity to explore our own thought patterns. To observe that when we are open and curious to a query,  our thought patterns do change. Because externalizing an idea with another person/people and examining that idea, especially if we can free ourselves of our emotional constructs and triggers, we can be objective to outside information that will allow for new perspectives on the subject. 

We all need substantial conversations to be able to speak and be heard, to listen and ponder, but more importantly, that allow us to know something more about ourselves. They open the way for us to recognize principles rather than just facts, and for us to be in a space for Transformation to consciously recognize Truth. 

The Prosperos Assembly2025 will give you that opportunity to experience deep, important conversations. Happening Friday, September 05 through Monday, September 08, 2025, at the Island Palms Hotel, Shelter Island, in San Diego, California. 

So join us! Register for Assembly 2025 

See you there, Calvin