Showing Up

It is interesting that when you work several months on a Class or a workshop like Translation® or Releasing the Hidden Splendour™, you tend to start using the techniques more yourself. One day after a session using a combination of the Techniques I wrote the short piece that follows.

Showing Up

Oh, you say you see me, do you?

Oh, you remember the strength of my love?

Image courtesy of Calvin Harris, H.W.,M.

Well that my friend was a hand-me- down suit, sewn from expectation and tailored by trauma, It was Hard to breathe in it, being Too Tight in the chess But still I showed up wearing it Like it fit.

In it, I had been taught how to be palatable, seeking, but not receiving Love.

Showing up in it, to display humility for safety’s sake to be less offensive to people who could not handle my creative androgynous curiosity unfiltered.

Thus, it had to be camouflaged to protect it, In a world weaponized against Androgyny.

A change like a bush fire occurred through RHS™ /Translation® for me,

Afterwards if one had the audacity to ask Why you were not acting like before?

My answer was just tired of paying Rent in places that taxed

My equilibrium and peace. Tired of being a safe house for people

who burned down every boundary to my mental health.

With RHS™/Translation®, I built a new house that it speaks of inclusion of the self.

You see it isn’t loud, but it needs to be seen and heard.

Cause it needs to be heard, because silence betrayed me.

Know this isn’t angry, it comes from life’s library,

Archived is Every wound catalogued. And bookmarked is every betrayal

That now goes through the process of RHS/Translation … to refile pain, not to feel it again, but to never forget

who the “I” was before the fire.

The fire of Truth taught me how to be a flame

To be the I AM, a balance, that flickers high out of what was once was

a grave of my own making, Dirt still under the fingernails

But now the Scriptured words, I Am, is the fire in mouth that arises within me,

And now every “No”, I use to fear is wrapped in the fabric of logical thinking

Leading me to Love rather than to feeling like a bleeding sacrifice

without reciprocity, or a life of unbefitting words leading towards spiritual suicide.

You learn not to pray for attention anymore

But your demeanor demands a presence be known

Not for attention but because you finally

Sits in the center of the Love you use to give away.

No more crying at doors that will not open. Now you build homes instead.

Where your presence does not need permission, your presence is its own welcome mat.

I Will not apologize for showing up, as this one I Am, and not the one that should have been, if healing and wholeness had not been an option.

Calvin

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